The other day, as I was watching one of my favorite movies Jurassic Park, I came to a sudden realization. Other than the fact that Newman shut all of the power off, which allowed the dinosaurs to wander through the whole park, and was pretty much the reason for all the deaths in the movie, I couldn't help but notice that there was another way to avoid all of the deaths. If that FUCKING GIRL DIDN'T TURN ON THE FUCKING FLASHLIGHT, THAT T-REX WOULD HAVE WALKED RIGHT BY THEIR TRUCKS AND THEY WOULD HAVE ALL BEEN MUCH SAFER!!!!!
I can't be the only person who has ever thought this! I mean, what the fuck was she doing? Did she not realize that whatever was going across the road was the same thing that ate her precious fucking goat? Did she want to get all of her money's worth out of her tour around the park, money that she didn't fucking pay? I mean, what the fuck is her problem? All she had to do was ask her stupid little brother if she could borrow those goggles, and she would have seen what was out there!
This is not the only movie that does this. This is a problem that a lot of blockbuster films have in common. They always have to throw a fucking kid or two into the mix. What ends up happening is that the kids always SUCK!!!! They are always a pain in the ass, or they are little smart asses who think they are so funny with their little lines.
Another perfect example of this is in the movie Terminator 2: Judgement Day. The movie is a pretty awesome movie, but the worst part about it is the kid who plays young John Connor. He is just a stupid punk kid who thinks that his little one liner jokes are so funny. By the end of the movie, you just want to punch him in the fucking face!
There are other examples as well. All of these movies have kids that are extremely annoying:
- Jumanji
- Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
- Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
- Waterworld
- Star Wars, Episode 1: The Phantom Menace
- War of the Worlds (the one with Dakota Fanning)
- Liar, Liar
- The Santa Clause
- The Professional
- Halloween (the original)
- Remember the Titans
- Beethoven
I think you get my point. These are movies that are overall pretty good, but the kids just suck!
On the other side of the argument, there are movies that have kids in them that are not annoying. For example:
- The Sandlot
- The Neverending Story
- Stand By Me
- The Goonies
- Harry Potter
- The Sixth Sense
- Road Warrior
- Home Alone
- Super 8
I don't know what the deal is over there in Hollywood, but there is a way to make a good movie without making the kids suck! Some of you have the formula, but some of you obviously just don't get it. Maybe I should go over to Hollywood and give them a piece of my mind! hahahaha
Tell me you all agree!
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