Saturday, May 18, 2013

My Top 10 Worst T.V. Dads

So, Father's Day is almost a month away, and I figured this would be a good time to make this list

Over the many decades that television has been around, one common theme that seems to work with television is that the family dynamic works. There must be something that people enjoy about watching other families deal with problems that may or may not ever happen to you. There have been a lot of great families that have come and gone: The Seavers, The Cleavers, The Bradys, just to name a few. These television programs have produced some pretty incredible parental units, as well.

What T.V. has also produced is some pretty terrible parental units. None more horrifying than the FATHERS.

Here is my list of the worst fathers that television has ever created:

10.) RED FORMAN, That 70's Show


For those of you that have watched That 70's Show, Red is the father of Eric and Laurie Forman, and is married to Kitty Forman. This family is the epicenter of the entire show. Red is actually one of my favorite characters from that show. His crass language and hard exterior makes for a great dynamic between him and his more loving and caring wife. He is always yelling at Eric and making fun of how weak and pathetic he thinks he is, which is why he is on my list. Back in the day, especially during the time period in which this show takes place, his behavior as a father would be considered pretty good. According to today's standards... not so much. In fact, whenever your parents start talking about how much harder life was when they were kids, and how we are SO LUCKY to have such nicer parents than theirs, Red Forman would be that parent.

9.) PHIL DUNPHY, Modern Family


Now, Phil Dunphy, by anyone's standards, is actually a pretty good father. In fact, I would be okay if he was my dad. His only problem is that he is not the brightest bulb in the circuit. His father-in-law on the show, Jay Pritchett (who is played by Ed O'Neill, who will be making his own way onto my list a little later), could be considered a bad father. If you think about it, he had to raise 2 kids all on his own after his wife left him, so he has a pardon in my book. Phil always gets himself into trouble with his crazy antics. His stupidity almost always ends up putting his family in serious trouble. He is also constantly trying to win his father-in-law's approval, but always fails miserably. That is why I consider him to be a pretty bad father.

8.) GEORGE BLUTH, SR, Arrested Development


Now, I have not seen too many episodes of Arrested Development. I don't think I need to in this case. I've seen enough episodes to make this call. George Bluth, Sr. is the father of Michael Bluth (played by Jason Bateman), and gets arrested in the first episode for embezzlement and defrauding investors as the CEO of his family's company. It doesn't really matter how much of a good father he may think he is. If you get arrested and put in jail, then you definitely deserve to be on this list. One of the other things that I have actually seen is when he promises his son the promotion to CEO of his company, and then out of nowhere, decides that he does not want to retire. That is a pretty shitty move on his part. That is why he is on my list.

7.) FRANK BARONE, Everyody Loves Raymond


HOLY CRAP! Frank was my favorite character on this show. Played by the late Peter Boyle, he would constantly be insulting his 2 sons and not caring whatsoever. His crass behavior also makes for a great dynamic with his passive-aggressive wife, Marie. I definitely compare him to Red Foreman. In fact, if you were to take Red Forman, age him several years, and put him in modern times, then you would have Frank. He was the funniest character on that show, and was the only reason for why I would watch that show.

6.) RANDY MARSH, South Park


Now, South Park is an hilarious show to begin with. Eric Cartman is one of my favorite T.V. characters of all time. My 2nd favorite character on the show, however, is Randy Marsh. Randy is probably one of the worst dad's in T.V. history. Randy, however, has gone through a makeover. When the show first started, he was not really a major character. He was mellow and actually not a terrible father, as far as that show is concerned. Over the years, however, he has been given a hilarious personality. Every time the kids get themselves involved in these crazy shenanigans, Randy also gets himself crazily involved, as well. In the more recent episodes, he has become more of a central character. He is so self-centered, he doesn't even think about his 2 kids, Stan and Shelly, when he goes off on his crazy adventures. Of course, no one on that show has any redeemable qualities, but they don't have to. It's a cartoon.

5.) HOMER SIMPSON, The Simpsons


D'OH! Of course Homer would make it on my list. It is a good thing that he is only a cartoon, because if he was to do any of the things that he does to his children in real life, he would be put in prison for the rest of his life. He neglects his 2 daughters, Maggie and Lisa, and whenever Bart pisses him off, he starts choking him with his bare hands. He is also a pretty stupid father, as well. Well, he's a pretty stupid guy, in general. Cartoons can get away with creating characters like this, though. He is definitely one of the worst fathers in T.V. history. He has been on T.V. for more than 20 years now, and who knows when they will ever get cancelled. All I know is that Homer is just a horrible father.

4.) PETER GRIFFIN, Family Guy


Now, in all fairness, if you remember from one of it's previous episodes, Peter is actually legally retarded. That right there tells you that he is not a suitable parent. It's like if you take Homer Simpson and make him a complete psychopath and retard. That is why I think he is way worse than Homer. I mean, Seth McFarlane has created a character that has no limit to what he can get away with. It has only gotten worse over the years. You could create a 10 page long grocery list of all the things that are wrong with his parenting. Whether it is blowing his entire family's life savings for his Peter-copter or Peter-dactyl, his constant bullying of his only daughter Meg, or, most recently, turning his entire family into meth addicts, Peter is one of the worst fathers I have ever seen. And he's only number 4 on my list!

3.) CHARLES WHIDMORE, Lost


LOST was one of my favorite shows of all time. All the characters were so intriguing in their own way. Charles Whidmore was no exception. Charles was one of the most ruthless men in the history of television (although later you find out he may not have been as bad afterall). I mean, this is a guy that literally did not give 2 shits about the safety of his daughter, whatsoever. He was also the sole reason for why things got so messed up on the island. He made life completely miserable for everyone that was on the island. As if they needed more shit to deal with? Also... HE ALSO HAD A SON!! Way to be there for Miles! Now he's dead, and Penny can't trust you either because you keep trying to kill Desmond. WAY TO BE!!! If you notice, he is actually the only father on my list that is NOT from a comedy.

2.) ARCHIE BUNKER, All in the Family


To be completely honest, I think I have only really seen like 3 or 4 episodes. I put him on here purely because of the reputation that he has. In those 3 or 4 episodes, I think I saw enough that I needed to see. If you want to know how bad of a father he was, watch South Park. The South Park guys, Matt Stone and Trey Parker, based the creation of their most famous character, Eric Cartman, off of Archie Bunker. They have gone on record saying that they wanted to bring an Archie Bunker-like character back to television. Cartman is one of the most irreverent characters in the history of television, so I can only imagine that Archie Bunker got way worse than just the 3 or 4 episodes that I saw. Also, if I didn't put him on my list, then I would not hear the end of it from my readers. So, that is pretty much why I just can't bump him up to the number 1 slot.

1.) AL BUNDY, Married... With Children


Al Bundy, in my opinion, is the worst father in T.V. history. He was a slob, crass, stupid, and often tried to find any opportunity to leave his family. The only pride in his life was his accomplishments on the football field at Polk High School, where he ran for 4 touchdowns in a championship game, which is still the record even to this day. Like all of the other fathers on my list, he would often make fun of his children, and because of that, they ended up becoming horrible people, as well. His daughter is a slutty dumb blonde, and his son is an immature sleazeball .. who is also a moron. I'm pretty sure he set the standard for horrible treatment to his kids. Just ask his wife Peggy, who was no angel, either. Congratulations, Al! You're constant ball scratching and neglect has landed you at the top of my list.

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Now, I have not watched every television show, but of all the shows that I have watched, these are the worst fathers that I have ever seen. If you would like to add to this list, please post on the bottom and let me know.



1 comment:

  1. My father was the living, breathing version of Archie Bunker. Crass, racist and all. My mother was NOT at all Edith. Kept family life in balance. He may have been that, not around for soccer or little league, but he was there when it counted. He spent 60 hours a week providing for his family. And yes, my mom was a teacher so she was out the same time as my sister and I. Despite his faults (and there were many) will never talk bad about my dad.

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